This blog is dedicated to my mother: Mahin Zehra Anis. Born in Calcutta, India in 1955. She died in London, UK on the 6th of October 2021. 

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I was unable to mourn her. A long history of mental health issues rendered me incapable of processing her death. So I buried her and went back to work. And then I forgot about her.

I have been undertaking psychedelic-assisted therapy which has allowed me to reclaim my humanity, to reclaim that which had been lost through decades of suffering at the hands of depression, anxiety, trauma, and rage.

Psilocybin allowed me to grieve for mum. To properly feel the pain of her passing, and to remember her with all my heart.

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The words you see here were written solely whilst under the influence of psilocybin. Words I never knew existed within me.